if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
