'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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