I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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