I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
It's no shave November. This is our time.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
