My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize