I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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