Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
