what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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