A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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