Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
