did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
she looked like the before picture.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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