I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
