"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
