if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
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