just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
