Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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