i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
