Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
