Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
