If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Just high enough for therapy.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
