But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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