best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
