I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
