possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
