I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
