Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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