Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
You were trust falling into bushes
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
