Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize
