She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
