the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
