I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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