I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Randomize