i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
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