When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
