if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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