I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
