I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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