There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
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