So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize