She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Randomize
