does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
