I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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