I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
