in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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