sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
