Sober January is a disaster.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
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