fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
