party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
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