my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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