Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
