What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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