the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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