Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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