dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
