He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
