I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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