At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize