I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
