Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
