"it" just moved
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Please don't give away my fajitas
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
