the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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