I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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