TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
