My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
