I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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