Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
