I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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