You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
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