Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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