i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize