i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
