OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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