I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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