I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize