You work out of a Hotel?
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
