Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
