What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
